I still remember the moment when I was missing how's the 'butterfly feeling' feels like. Now I'm blessed that I have a chance to feel that feeling again after quite long time. How couldn't I? When a man that I was crushed on, now I can even call him mine. It's really what I call a dream comes true.. Once again, I'm blessed.
A lot of unexpected things happened for these past four months, since the day I met you again. I feel like I'm helping you out from your zone. Not a comfort one tho, but it's a zone where you spent most of the times for these past five years. 

The moment I know you more on each days. Every things that you and I've told one another, just to make sure that we won't hide anything, just trying to be open to one another, without any specific purpose before. We just feel comfortable just the way who we are. Until we found out and realized that there's something beautiful between us.

We might have different way of thinking. But when we have similarity in some little things like; when we accidentally wear same clothes, when we thought about the same thing, when we want to eat same food or watch same movie, etc. that's the right time for us to appreciate more. Because life will always be beautiful whenever we always be grateful about everything that happened.

You might be the only one man whom I always put your name on my prays. I believe if we put Allah first, we don't have to worry because everything will be alright and Allah knows more about the future. Once again, I'm blessed.
Until the day I found out about your kind and sincere intention towards me. For the honest intention that you've said, for the commitment that we've made, for the dreams that we want to chase, for the love that we've waited for..

When we still sat together in your car at midnight. I was closing my eyes and you started to talk about it. He hold my hand and make sure that I haven't sleep yet. Everything started from your question, "What's your life plans for the next one or two years?" I simply answer, "I have to finished my college first, build my own clothing line business, and think about getting married when I meet my fate. Why?" "If I want to ask you for a serious relationship, what do you think?" I answered his question still in the same position and closing my eyes. Then when his last question out from his lips, I still closed my eyes and I feel the warm and peaceful feeling. The feeling that I want to keep for a long time.. And the talk still going on 'til I open my eyes and looked into his eyes deeply. The best thing I've ever seen when I woke up.

We continued the talk 'til around an hour later. We sure made a commitment. I asked him, "have you figured out my weaknesses?" "I haven't found one up until now." "Ok then I want to warn you that there will be the time you'd figure it out, so be ready for it. I'm not trying to scare you.." But we know that one of the reason a relationship would be lasted long is because we have to accept our partner's plus and minus, rite?

That quiet yet beautiful night just passed. It was already past 12 AM. And we decided to have this serious relationship started from that day, August 16th. I love him since the day he chat me, but I had no reason to own him, all I did was keep it by myself. Now I love him more, not because I own him now but because he feels the same way as I do, he completes me.

And one of the most beautiful thing that he said that night was, "I'm sorry, I've made you wait.." Don't worry dear, you're the one that worth to wait for tho.

Let's talk about us now, not only me nor you, this is us. The unexpected meeting two years ago brought us here. From someone whom I only know to someone whom I crushed on to someone whom I can call mine.

Let's walk the journey together, side by side, through thick and thin, through our pray and also for our commitment.






I love to write things that happened in my life for these past few months.. Inspired by a short story kind of novel and I get better whenever I write the things out. And maybe it's going to be fun to read it in some months later. Looking forward to feel the excitement when I read it. Because I'm not a diary person when I was kid. Hahah.

I was wearing a kind of pajamas outfit back to the last Friday. Going out with my photographer friend and thank you for the good shots even tho my face really looked so pale and sleepy, as always. Hahah.




Let me say EID MUBARAK 1438H to all Muslim all around the world! May Allah let us be in the next Ramadhan, insya Allah, Amin..

Berhubung lagi ga banyak kegiatan di luar rumah selama bulan Ramadhan lalu, so I chose to stayed at home almost every day. Dan kebetulan di saat free, Clozette Indonesia mengundang aku dan beberapa Clozetters lainnya untuk hadir di store launching sebuah brand makeup asal Australia, BYS.

BYS stands for Be YourSelf. Jujur aku baru pertama kali mendengar brand ini dan kebetulan mereka memang baru buka store pertamanya ini di Plaza Senayan. But I really love at the first sight with this brand! Kenapa? You know that I'm not into makeup, right? Dan BYS ini produk-produknya totally for basic or beginner, just like me. Setelah asik keliling-keliling storenya dan tester produk-produknya, I simply love it! Karena produk mereka tidak confusing bagi para beginner.

Aku dibantu banget sama store manager dan store keeper di sana, aku bener-bener tanya tentang brand ini dan beberapa produk yang aku terima, bahkan aku ditawarin untuk di-retouch and definitely I sais yes! Haha.

And luckily, Clozetters yang hadir mendapatkan 3 produk unggulan dari BYS; Pure Silk Serum Foundation, Velvet Lips Liquid Lipstick, and On The Go Palette. They are all definitely the basic of makeup. So berikut ini aku review sedikit mengenai produk-produknya..

Foundation yang bertekstur really light dan sangat mudah buat diaplikasikan! Sekarang foundation ini aku pake banget untuk makeup sehari-hari aku. Karena selama ini aku jarang banget pake base, so this really light foundation safes my day! Foundation ini menggunakan pipe jadi akan tetap higenis.

I've been using liquid lipstick for these past few years. Suka pakai liquid karena applicatornya gampang jadi ga bikin berantakan. Tentunya pasti cari yang final resultnya yang matte. Biasanya warna yang aku pake ga jauh-jauh dari nude, kemarin saat pilih-pilih warna lipstick juga matanya ga jauh-jauh dari tone yang nude. Hahah. Trus direkomendasiin warna rosewood ini. Sebenernya aku juga suka lipstick berwana dark, tapi sebelumnya pernah coba dan agak takut sendiri karena wajahku jadi terlihat galak, karena bibirku lumayan tipis ditambah berwarna dark, hahaha. Jadi lipsticknya cuma di simpan..
Tapi aku suka sama warna dark yang rosewood ini, aku ngerasa ini tuh percampuran dark-nude-reddish color!

Nah ini adalah produk yang aku suka banget. Selama ini agak males untuk beli eye shadow palette, karena jujur emang jarang banget pake eye shadow tapi selalu ketar-ketir kalo mau dateng ke event semi formal, hahah. Biasanya selalu beli eye shadow yang kecil yang cuma ada 3 warna. Nah pas tau ada on the go palette ini, ngerasa lucu banget karena eye shadow yang handy untuk dibawa kemana-mana dan warnanya lengkap!
BYS punya 3 jenis palette; Neutral, Smokey, Matte. Awalnya galau mau yang smokey atau matte, tapi karena lebih sering pakai warna-warna natural terutama coklat, so I chose this Matte On The Go Palette!

Kalau mascara ini aku beli, karena saat di-retouch aku dipakein mascara ini dan langsung suka (kebetulan mascara lagi habis hahah). Mascara ini aku pilih karena mempertebal bulu mata, berhubung tipis dan ga lentik, jadi aku pilih ini, Yeay!

Last but not least, walaupun BYS ini brand asal luar negeri, harganya sangat terjangkau! It's really affordable and worth to buy!

And not forget to snap my #OOTD all black as always. Wuff!



I'm surrounded by people who has same age as me and the things that happening now; bachelor exam, marriage, pregnancy, and newly mama. And where am I? None of them. I'm just enjoying my free time as a final semester student who's waiting for the mood to start writing the skripsi, lol. I'm not lazy. I'm just taking a rest from those tiresome years as a fashion student. If you had the same passion as me, you'd know how hard those times, right? But..enjoy!




bulan suci Ramadhan sudah memasuki hari ke 22. Buat aku Ramadhan kali ini sedikit berbeda, dimana tahun-tahun sebelumnya hari-hari puasa diisi dengan kesibukan kuliah dan semakin dekat dengan hari raya, aku sibuk mempersiapkan kebutuhan-kebutuhan untuk keperluan mudik. Tapi tahun ini berhubung aku sudah kuliah tingkat akhir jadinya bulan Ramadhan diisi dengan kegiatan-kegiatan lain di luar kampus, lebih banyak waktu untuk istirahat di rumah, dan tentunya lebih banyak waktu untuk beribadah. Dan tahun ini aku dan keluarga ga mudik huhu..

Nah walaupun mostly aku stay di rumah selama bulan puasa ini, aku mau share sedikit tips nih untuk kamu yang juga menjalankan ibadah di bulan Ramadhan. Apa aja nih?

Tahun ini adalah tahun dimana aku sedang merasakan badan yang segemuk-gemuknya, hahah. BB yang sudah melewati batas BB ideal dan ketika banyak banget orang yang notice kalau aku gemukan terutama di bagian pipi huhu. Nah jadi aku menggunakan kesempatan puasa ini untuk mencoba menurunkan kembali BB ku dengan mengontrol konsumsi makanan di saat sahur dan berbuka. Berikut ini nih tips nya!

1. Makan kurma dan minum air putih di saat Sahur

Yap, sejauh ini hampir setiap hari aku hanya mengkonsumsi kurma dan air putih di saat sahur. 3 atau 5 buah kurma (karena diSunnahkan ganjil) dan 3 atau 4 gelas air putih.
Apa manfaat yang aku rasakan? Badan terasa lebih ringan untuk beraktifitas dan berkurangnya rasa mengantuk sehabis sahur karena kekenyangan.

2. Mengurangi makanan berminyak di saat berbuka

Kamu tau kan dampaknya goreng-gorengan itu ga baik buat tubuh kita? Sedangkan hidangan berbuka puasa identik dengan kue dan gorengan. Yaa walaupun tergoda juga sih kadang-kadang tapi sebisa mungkin aku menahan diri untuk tidak memakan gorengan demi mengurangi penimbunan lemak di dalam tubuh heheh

3. Perbanyak minum air putih dan asupan herbal/vitamin sebelum tidur

Aku sudah terbiasa untu minum air putih hangat setiap hari. Yap rasanya malah ga enak kalo konsumsi air dengan suhu normal. So, I prefer to drink warm or cold water instead of the normal water. Kebanyakan mengkonsumsi air dingin juga ga baik buat tubuh, tapi aku belum pernah denger tuh apakah mengkonsumsi air hangat berbahaya? Semoga tidak ya heheh. Karena badan kekurangan cairan di saat puasa, aku harus maksain diri untuk konsumsi minum air putih sebanyak-banyaknya di saat berbuka hingga sebelum tidur

4. Jangan lupa sikat gigi dan berkumur dengan mouthwash

Kegiatan ini sangat aku perhatikan apalagi di saat puasa. Aku selalu melakukan kegiatan ini di 3 waktu penting. Sikat gigi dan berkumur setelah sahur, berkumur sebelum berangkat untuk beraktifitas, dan sikat gigi dan berkumur sebelum tidur.

Untuk produk pasta gigi dan mouthwash aku mempercayakan Sensodyne. Kenapa harus Sensodyne? Apa saja manfaatnya?

Pasta gigi Sensodyne membantu menguatkan gigi-gigi kamu terutama pada gigi sensitif.

Dan mouthwash nya yang paling aku suka nih. Dengan tidak mengandung alcohol, Sensodyne mouthwash ga akan bikin mulut terbakar saat kumur-kumur. Tentunya juga menjaga gigi kita tetap kuat dan membuat mulut lebih segar! Walaupun sedang berpuasa dimana kondisi mulut lebih asam, kita harus tetap menjaga kebersihan dan kesegaran mulut dong jadi ga minder untuk ketemu orang lain yang biasanya disebabkan karena bau mulut hihi..

Nah itu tadi 4 tips sederhana yang aku terapkan di bulan puasa ini. Dan sekarang aku mau ajak kalian untuk beramal di bulan penuh berkah ini, dimana segala kebaikan kita dilipat gandakan pahalanya jadi yuk kita ikut #SensodyneBerbagi. Ikutin caranya ya :
1.      Like & follow akun media sosial Sensodyne Indonesia
Facebook Fanpage @sensodyneindonesia, Instagram @sensodyneindonesia, dan Twitter @GigiNgilu
2.      Sharing tips Ramadhan versi kamu di akun media sosial (peserta bebas memilih akun). Jangan lupa tag Sensodyne Indonesia dan gunakan hashatag #SensodyneBerbagi #SensodyneID #ClozetteIDxSensodyneID
Lalu tag juga 5 (lima) teman kamu untuk berbagi tips Ramadhan versi mereka.

Hanya dengan join berbagi tips Ramadhan ini, kamu telah ikut mendonasikan Rp.5000,- ke Yayasan Difabel Mandiri Indonesia, loh!

Daaan asiknya lagi, kalian juga berkesempatan untuk memenangkan hadiah utana Canon EOS M-10 dan puluhan parcel Ramadhan setiap minggunya! Wah siapa nih yang mau dapet hadiah buat lebaran nanti? Makanya yuk ikutan sekarang! Periode kontes ini berlangsung dari 25 Mei – 21 Juni. Dan cek http://bit.ly/SensodyneBerbagi buat info lengkapnya yaa.

Yuk saling berbagi dengan #SensodyneBerbagi, menangin kesempatan hadiahnya, dan dapatkan pahala yang berlipat ganda.. Selamat berpuasa, Sensofriends! J



Visited the latest Big Bad Wolf Books 2017 at ICE last month. I'm not a big fan of book(s) and I don't really read book actually, hahah. Just accompanied my sister and her friend then what did I do there? Looked for an OOTD spot with my little sis, as usual. Yes she's the photographer behind (almost) all of my pics. But I'm still the director of course, hahah.

I'm wearing combo; cap and shades, because it was too hot there. Since ICE is kind of a new place,  so the trees around the building haven't grow up completely.

Outer : Gerai Hawa
Top : /SA VIE/ -- my latest collection

And by the way, my lil sister gave me this bouquet as a present of my final show. She couldn't make to watched directly because she had to go to school, hahah. She was the only one who gave me a flower bouquet, is it because I'm single? Haha.
If you notice that I'm getting fat now, yes I do. Reaching the weight that I never thought before.. It all started since I broke up and my internship program. I eat too much snacks lately. I couldn't handle it. Hahah. But now I start to control about what and when to eat snacks. I still can't call it a diet, I still can't do exercise regularly, and also I still can't have clean food for my daily consume. But at least I'm trying.. So please support me!



Had a random fridate with my little sis last week, just a day before Ramadhan. I was craving for coffee and she recommend this place, a simple yet comfy coffee shop. I ordered cappuccino as usual and coffee latte for her, plus a yummy toast. What would be the best after a good coffee at a good place? A good spot for OOTD obviously, hahah.

Captured by DHS


"You don't meet people by accident. There's always a reason. A lesson or a blessing."

"When I first met you, I honestly didn't know you were gonna be this important to me."

"Every girl has that one guy, she has a crush on forever."

"I have a hopeless crush on someone I have no chance with."

I felt something strange on myself lately. The butterfly feeling, smiling a lot just because of a simple thing, overthinking about someone.. until I found out that I'm crushing on someone. I didn't realize it before and started to look for the life quotes and quotes about "crush" are definitely describing myself now. I don't think that it's my first time crushing on someone, but my sisters and my closest friends told me that this is my first time, they never looked me like "this" before. After some thoughts then I can clearly say yes. To tell you the truth, if I have a crush on a guy, we ended up together for a short or a long time. Then I couldn't say that he was my crush before..


Yes, those 4 quotes are exactly what have happened to me since last April.

I met this guy on February 2015. How did we meet?
Back to the year when I was so interested in modest fashion modelling. So it just started by joining a modelling workshop. The reasons why I joined it because; I have interest in modelling, I want to learn from the pro; knowing new people who have the same interest; the photographer is the infamous hijabi photographer, mba Afida, yes it was one of the reason.

I registered myself for the batch 2. But unfortunately I couldn't make it, I actually forget what was the reason. I asked the crew about what should I do, I didn't mind if they refund the fee. I only thought that maybe it wasn't the right time for me. But the crew asked me how if I joined on the next batch, and I said yes immediately because I was too excited. Hahah.

Long short story, I joined the batch 3 and unfortunately mba Afida couldn't make it to joined us. I felt a bit disappointed but still excited at the same time. And then she was replaced by a guy photographer. I had no self confidence being photographed by a guy back then, even when the room was full of girls. But I just let it flew, he's a photographer tho, and that day would be the only time I met him. After some times, I looked for his IG just because I wanted to ask him for the pictures from the event, and we've been following each other IG since then. But we never talked nor sent message. I'm following some photographers on IG and I always feel happy whenever those photographers "like" my post, including him. He did it rarely back then.

But, sure we, human, never know about the future. Only God knows.

Exactly on April 6th 2017, I met this guy photographer again. So it has been two years, huh?
In the morning, someone said to me that he would come late today so she gave me his ID card and told me to gave him when he came. His name sounds so familiar  then I thought of him immediately, "is it him?"
I didn't realize it and didn't have any thought 'till finally he came. He told me that he already on the entrance gate and yes that was how we finally met again.. Luckily he remember and recognized me and was it the first time we talk each other? 

I only knew him as someone-whom-I-know, no less and no more. I also didn't think about something exciting on the first day we met. We just had some talks, had lunch, run from the stage to another one, he took the photos while I posted the pics and did IG live for the official IG.

And it all started since the day 2 in the morning, he chat me and asked "have you arrived at the venue?" and since that time, we do chatting every day, up until now..It's been around a month.

It's so funny to think about it now.
A person whom you only met once become someone whom you looked for in every early morning or even in the midnight.. A comfort zone, yes that's how I named it.

But the thing doesn't run as smooth as I want. I found out that he's "taken" exactly on the day 2. After I scrolled down his IG, I found his woman. Yes, he has a 5 years relationship now. That's why I call it a crush. I don't know why, we only met twice but my heart breaks into pieces knowing he's already owned.

We talk about anything to one another, we eat lunch sometimes, we watch movie three times already (Guardian of The Galaxy; Fast and Furious 8; The Autopsy of Jane Doe), we do midnight call when he/I ask to woke me/him up or in the lazy morning or simply when he wants to call me, we do video call too sometimes. He even told me if he dreamed about me, it has been twice for him and some times already for me. Yes I dreamed of him too hahah. 

Now I realize and sometimes afraid about things I've done, but on the next day I'm hoping for him. He does give me hope. Obviously. But I know he never thinks that way, you know that mostly, a man isn't that sensitive as woman, right? Moreover, he already owned by someone tho. So what else should I say? I lost.

He's just someone I dream of to be my own, but the fact is I don't even have a chance to be with him, now or later. It's not a consequence, it's the fact. He's 26 now and already has a woman, a beautiful woman, someone who has similar face to him, whom he needs, a woman who wants him to be her future and someone whom she wants to spend the life with. I said once again, I lost.

Things that bothering my mind:

How could I'm the only one who had this a one frame photo with him back then and it was uploaded on their Facebook album?
He asked me to add his personal Line and how could he has been my Line friend already? We didn't remember anything about that.
What about; the midnight calls? random video calls? asked me to watch horror movie while your woman loves it more? wakes me up in the morning and makes sure I sleep in the night? those compliments that you're getting better whenever you call me? the moment you asked me to massage your hand when it hurts? the moment when you accompanied me for a phone serviced and took pics of me while we were waiting? the top search list on your IG is mine and the second one is hers? And there's a lot more..

A note to myself:

You've met some guys before, from the one whom you dumped or someone who dumped you. I never felt this way happy before. He cares about me but he's not possessive. He's funny and I'm not getting bored of him. He always says I'm fat but I admit it. He sometimes be a hard to get but he always there whenever I need him. He's really different from the guys I've met before. What I told him about one word to describe him is dependable. He asked me the reason but I couldn't give him any because I feel it, not only see it on him.

Do I jealous? Yes obviously. But I don't have to be jealous, he isn't even mine.
Just keep this feeling on your heart, no one wants to know how's your feeling towards him, so he does. He deserves to be with someone who needs him more than myself. And you deserve to be with someone else who needs you, but not him. Keep it, even if it hurts a lot. Even if you love him that much, letting him go is better than other else. He deserves to be loved but you have no chance to be with him now or later. I don't even know how would it feels when I read this post on the next 6 months from now on.. Keep it as a life story of me 'till I find my man/bae/other half. Amin..

Spread the love and please don't hate each other.
What's the better feeling than having a crush on your early 20's?



Life has taught me, "Pay attention to someone who cares and respects you even he already owned by someone. But it means that you're ready to face the worst. Rather than pay attention to someone whom you admired but he doesn't even care about you at all." I know I'm selfish and I'm just following my own ego. But as long as I feel the happiness purely, why should I let it go? Bcs your 20's begins with selfishness, right?

Captured by DHS




Here's to a day with my #Clozette girls, talked about our upcoming project "hello.stylo". A collaboration between a designer, a fashion stylist and me? a fashion student. Clozette made us known each other.

I'm inspired by their style and personalities. And through this project, we could exchange our thought of fashion to make something new, at least for us. xx



"The rain's pouring so hard and the thunders scream louder. Yes, that's why the city where I live called the Rain City."
What's your plan for this weekend? Would you love to having a hair treatment just like what I had last week? Check this out if you're curious to know ;)

A little pleasure which can boost your mood up a whole day is having a hair treatment or simply just a manicure/pedicure at a salon. You know that girls just want to be pampered, right? (But not "always" of course, lol). Here, I'd like to say thank you to IRWAN TEAM HAIRDESIGN who just opened a Private Ladies Area which is so suitable for a hijabi like me!

A classic little corner called Private Ladies Area up there!

So I spent around two hours to enjoy the services at their latest private ladies area at IRWAN TEAM HAIRDESIGN Mall Kota Kasablanka. I chose L'Oreal hair spa, blow dry, and manicure for my Saturday treatment. I really love their homey, quite, and classic interior place.

So sorry that I didn't take the pics of me while having the treatment. I was really enjoy the treatment so I forgot to took out my camera XD

I got a warm welcome and the therapist helped me by explained anything that I asked. The treatment started from washing my hair using L'Oreal product. Then continued to finished the hair spa and started to had the manicure treatment using OPI product at the private ladies area. The therapist and nailist really did their job well and I'm totally in love with the final result even though they said that my hairfall looks so bad :'( (due to my laziness to take care of my hair, I'm sorry my lovely thin hair..)

And yap, you can booked your treatment (IRWAN TEAM branch, date, time, the stylist/therapist/nailist, and the services) through Minutes app. A new way to book your salon or barbershop treatment through online apps!

It's so easy to use and all you have to do is complete your personal information, book the treatment you want, and come to the place on time. Then check in and ask for the barcode to be scanned!

(Minutes app is available for iOS and Android)

IRWAN TEAM HAIRDESIGN Kota Kasablanka review:

Plus :
Comfy place, friendly staffs, professional, serviced by woman therapist, man-can't-enter area, various drinks are available

Minus :
Hair wash room for hijabi still not available

See you on my next review!